Tag Archives: tranquilizer dependency

The story behind the painting…..

The story behind the painting…

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It is a story about transformation and turning points….

As I write this, I am experiencing another period of transformation and given that the painting arrived with me in London on Monday, having been housed with friends in Wales for the past eleven years, it seems the perfect time to tell the story…..with the help of magical hummingbirds, of course:)

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The portrait was painted in my large carriage house studio in West Chester, Pennsylvania.  The year was 1987.

Prescott Alley Studio, West Chester, Pennsylavnia. 

Scan 74

From as early as I can remember, up until the time of painting this portrait, I suffered from acute anxiety….a crippling anxiety, made worse by the fact that I did everything I could to hide it.   For the most part, aided and abetted by tranquillisers!

In 1987, my son was 21 years old and my daughter fourteen…and to all intents and purposes our world appeared to be very rosy.    In hindsight, I can see that my husband and I did the very best we could given the tools we had.

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In 1986, I received treatment for my love of tranquillisers during which time I met someone who said the right words at the right moment.

The words were ‘Stop fighting it……!’

I will never be able to explain what happened, but at that moment my life changed….and although I have lived through some difficult times since, I have never experienced the horror of the crippling anxiety again!

The self portrait is a response to that moment of transformation…

It was the beginning of living my life authentically, and it was also the beginning of my understanding that I am not on this journey alone.

In this symbolic still life self portrait painted in the same studio, I included a photograph of the painting. 

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And so as I move gratefully through this new period of transformation, I am ready for a burst of creative energy…..I am ready for the next part:)

A Bientôt